The Guiness Pig Diaries

These humorous comebacks are for entertainment purposes only.  Seriously, please don't engage with anyone who might put your safety at risk. Stranger: Why you wearing a mask Me: Asphalt Stranger: What Me: If you aren’t wearing a mask, it’s your ass and your fault when Covid

“You’re STILL not eating in restaurants?” I was asked this question by friends who had called to invite me to a party. When I mentioned that I’m still doing everything I can to avoid Covid, they suggested we meet at a restaurant instead. Baffled by whatever logic drove

Mark your calendar…. February 2nd is Covid-Conscious Community Appreciation Day (CCCAD)!  This is a new observance so here is a handy guide to answer some frequently asked questions. What is the origin of CCCAD? It’s a byproduct of an ADHD spin. I was scrolling through posts and saw a

Where do we go from here? As we push forward into year 5 of the Covid-19 pandemic, it seems like everyone is asking this question right now. Those of us who still give a damn and are trying our best to resist the ‘live with it’ approach are exhausted.  It&

“Bah humbug!” shouted Eversneezer Scrooge as he pulled into the parking lot of his corporation’s headquarters. Even though the parking space nearest the front entrance was clearly marked ‘Reserved for CEO,’ the spot was taken. With no other spaces available in the main lot, he drove down the street

Every year when Thanksgiving arrives, I can’t help but think about William. William was one of several elderly shut-ins that my employer at the time had sponsored to receive a Thanksgiving dinner. My co-worker Misty and I stopped by the grocery store’s deli counter that morning to pick

These humorous comebacks are for entertainment purposes only.  Seriously, please don't engage with anyone who might put your safety at risk.   *** Stranger: Why you wearing a mask Me: I guess you didn’t watch 60 Minutes this past weekend Stranger: No, why Me: Watch it, you’ll understand

NO CAVITIES CLUB read the sticker from my dentist.  It featured a smiling, thumbs-upping cartoon tooth that was brushing itself with a giant toothbrush.  My 7-year old self peeled it away from the wax paper strip and placed it proudly on my shirt.  Hell yeah, I was ready to walk

You’re not alone.  I feel it too.  Everything – and I mean everything – just feels heavier right now.  We’re trudging into our 5th year of the Covid-19 pandemic.  We’ve lost access to almost every bit of the data we've depended upon to inform our decisions. We&

We have the tools. Every time I hear this phrase uttered, there’s a mental image I just can’t shake. I see a bunch of tools - literal tools - piled against a wall. Hammers, pliers, saws, power drills, sandblasters, and the like. This visual comes from a real-life

These humorous comebacks are for entertainment purposes only. Seriously, please don't engage with anyone who might put your safety at risk. *** Stranger: Why you wearing a mask, don’t you know about herd immunity Me: Oh yes, I heard immunity from past infection & vaccines wanes within months

It's story time for all you grownup boys and girls! Gather 'round for the most fucked up fairy tale ever.  This story makes zero sense. That's the whole point. How the Three Little Pigs Almost Learned to Live with the Big Bad Wolf Once upon