The Guiness Pig Diaries

Halloween Magic: How an Ancient Tradition Reminds Us That Yes, People Will Mask to Feel Safe

Halloween is fast approaching. Everyone, everywhere, is sipping pumpkin spice lattes, carving jack o’lanterns, bingeing on fun size candy (gone in one bite, what’s fun about that?) and buying up the costumes they’ll carefully repackage and return on November 1 to Spirit Halloween. An awful lot of

Lemons - A Poem

My dad owned a lemon It wouldn’t go far It was old, it was rusty A piece of shit car He’d worked hard to buy it He drove it with pride As a kid it was always My favorite ride   And when other lemons Were in his line

Fool Me Once, Shame On You: Why Ignorance of Covid is a Dogshit Excuse

Hi friends, Before we dive into this post, I also wanted to share this link to Wayside Episode 18 - Dive, just published today. I've heard from a few of you that emails with the full text of each episode were landing in junk and spam folders, so

Movie Watch Party Link 10/18

A Little Gold Dog, A Not-So-Little Legacy

There’s a little figurine of a dog I keep on a shelf in my home. It’s painted gold, mounted on a weighted piece of wood, and has an embedded metal hook. I assume it’s to hold a leash, since it came with one, along with a harness,

What's new at The GP Diaries

Greetings, friends! I'm writing to say welcome to new subscribers and to give a shout-out to all of you who’ve been with me up until this point! A few quick notes about who I am and what I’ve been up to: I’m Mo, a writer

Parodoke - Safety Mask

Here's your latest parodoke (parody + karaoke) song, to the tune of "Safety Dance" by Men Without Hats. Just play the karaoke track at the bottom of the page, substitute the lyrics below, and boom, you're doing parodoke! Safety Mask We can mask if we

My Dog Hates Me: A Tribute to the Pets of the Pandemic

“There are two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.” - Albert Einstein I have an old dog. A really old dog.   The average canine lifespan is 10-13 years according to PetMD. Considering how dogs

The World Loves Pretty Things

The world loves pretty things, my dear The world loves pretty things It matters not, the costs we pay, The impacts that they bring   A lovely brunch must be indoors For if you dined outside You might sweat off your makeup, You might have to shoo a fly   It wouldn’

You're the Hero of This Story - You Just Don't Know It Yet

he·ro /ˈhirō,ˈhērō/  noun a person who is admired or idealized for courage, outstanding achievements, or noble qualities.   The word ‘hero’ makes me cringe. It was tossed around a lot at the beginning of the Covid pandemic. We called healthcare professionals heroes for working under some of the most

Parodoke - I Just Don't Like People Anymore

Here's your latest parodoke (parody + karaoke) song, to the tune of REO Speedwagon's "I Can't Fight This Feeling Anymore." Just play one of the karaoke tracks at the bottom of the page, substitute the lyrics below, and boom, you're doing

Members only

Parodoke - A Few of the Things that are Woke

Something Fishy This Way Comes

If you’re missing the unity and hope we shared during the early days of the Covid-19 pandemic, do not despair. There’s still a tiny little bit of it left on the web, courtesy of the Dutch.  I recently came across the website for the Visdeurbel (Fish Doorbell) in

The Mothman Prophecies: A Movie Recap/Review with Unexpected Insights for the Covid-Conscious

If you’re like me, you remain nostalgic for the unity and hope we shared during the early days of the Covid-19 pandemic. One thing I don’t miss? The struggle to find quality entertainment. Unplugged from our usual pastimes and hangouts in social settings, many of us became more

For the Covid-Conscious, Our Fundamental Weakness Isn’t Empathy. It’s Enabling.

In the children’s book ‘The Giving Tree’ by Shel Silverstein, a tree loves a boy.  She gives him shade. She gives him apples. She lets him swing from her branches. Eventually the boy grows up and wants to build a house, so she lets him cut off her branches.

Jesus Would Mask - A Poem

As you fast and you pray In this season of Lent As you sacrifice comforts And humbly repent There’s one extra thing You could reasonably do Mask up to save lives Just as Jesus saved you   It was five years ago When a virus arrived Upending the world, Claiming

Dear Friend Who is Worried About H5N1...

Dear friend who is worried about H5N1, You’re certainly not alone. I’m worried about H5N1 too. By now you’ve probably heard about it on the news or in your social media feed. You’ve seen videos of cow carcasses piled by the side of the road and

Laughing When Things Aren't Funny

In October of 2023, Pete Davidson delivered an uncharacteristically poignant monologue on Saturday Night Live. He spoke of the trauma of losing his father, a firefighter who died while responding to attacks on the twin towers on 9/11, and how it cast him into a deep depression throughout much

So Many Things To Love

If you’re like me, it’s hard to fathom we’re headed into the 6th year of the Covid-19 pandemic. It's even harder to accept that the rest of the world is more committed than ever to ignoring it. I’ve remained just as committed to avoiding

A Tribute to Generation X: How the Lawrence Welk Show and Other Childhood Traumas Prepared Us for Living Through a Pandemic

When I was 11 years old, I had an accident involving some serious facial trauma. It left me with a broken jaw and a couple of fractured adult teeth. My mom rushed me to an oral surgeon, who took some X-rays and cleared his schedule for the rest of the

A Covid Christmas Carol

“Bah humbug!” shouted Eversneezer Scrooge as he pulled into the parking lot of his corporation’s headquarters. Even though the parking space nearest the front entrance was clearly marked ‘Reserved for CEO,’ the spot was taken. With no other spaces available in the main lot, he drove down the street

Making Room For Loved Ones When You Don't See Eye to Eye

Every year when Thanksgiving arrives, I can’t help but think about William. William was one of several elderly shut-ins that my employer at the time had sponsored to receive a Thanksgiving dinner. My co-worker Misty and I stopped by the grocery store’s deli counter that morning to pick

Back to Normal: A Poem

I love you dear, but I will not hear We can't go back to normal You seem to think that everyone Is vulnerable and mortal   We did our part, and now we’re done With testing, space and masking Virtual work, school at home (Just till the threat

Meet the GERT Family

You may recognize the GERT family from your free government expired rapid tests packaging. They want to tell you all about their experiences with Covid, and what you can do to protect your family from it. Who is Guiness Pig? You can support my work by signing up for a

When Butterflies Fall by the Wayside

I was promised five butterflies. I ended up with seven. To be honest, I hadn’t planned on having any butterflies. A couple of months ago, my aunt had called me to say hello. We made small talk before she reminded me it was the birthday of her late brother,