This is a Test...
***THIS IS A TEST OF THE GUINESS PIG DIARIES BROADCAST SYSTEM***
It’s been a while since I’ve posted, so I’m taking a moment today to share some updates.
First, I want to say thank you to everyone who participated in the Inspire Performing Arts Festival by & for the Airborne Aware back in April. Whether you were an attendee, performer, or both, I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did!
The festival involved a high volume of communication by email, much of it with links to Zoom meetings or content, which ultimately led to subsequent newsletters hitting spam or junk folders, or not reaching recipients at all. I’m sending out this message as a test today to see if it reaches any subscribers. We’ll see what happens after I hit ‘send.’
It’s been an interesting summer, with lots of highs and lows on my end.
My spouse and I were grateful to get our Covid boosters at the end of April, as access to vaccines in the U.S. seems to be diminishing daily. We weren’t expecting how rough the side effects would be. In the days, weeks, and yes, months following, we’ve both experienced a worsening of brain fog, fatigue, headaches, disrupted sleep, wheezing and shortness of breath. My baseline has dipped significantly lower than it was before that boost.
That’s been a hard thing to process. I’ve wanted to talk about what we’ve experienced, but haven’t, for fear it might discourage others from getting vaccinated and provide more fuel for anti-vaxxers looking to stir up shit with those of us in the Covid-Conscious and Long Covid communities. The last thing I want to do is cause that kind of harm. I still believe getting vaccinated was the right thing for me to do and I still trust the science that shows us the risk-to-benefit ratio of Covid vaccines is low. But after this worsening of my Long Covid symptoms immediately following a vaccine, I’m dreading having to make the decision whether or not to get boosted again when it’s time.
Maybe I won’t even get to decide. Maybe by then we won’t even have access to vaccines anymore in the U.S. Most people now believe the best way to protect themselves from dangerous pathogens is by exposing themselves to dangerous pathogens, and policy is quickly coming into alignment with that ideology. What began as "we have to learn to live with Covid" has spiraled into the mainstream embrace of unmitigated exposure to damn near any and every pathogen that could kill us. You’ve no doubt been following the outbreak of Cyclosporiasis (an AIDS-defining illness), which hammers immunocompromised people especially hard. Per a recent article in New York Times, Emily Oster thinks there’s nothing to worry about and you can totally learn to live with explosive diarrhea. Meanwhile there’s little to no communication from the CDC about it, and fingers are being pointed at Taco Bell instead of the at the source of contamination and the abandonment of public health policies and surveillance programs that allowed this shit – this literal shit – to happen.
Yes, we’re in for a hot diarrhea summer.
Apparently it’s hot data center summer too. They’ve been popping up all over the area where we live. Not surprisingly, we’ve been experiencing regular power outages for months now, and we just got through our 4th heat advisory of the summer, with some days reaching record temps for this time of year. We haven’t had much rain, so the reservoirs and rivers that supply our water are dangerously low.
There’s a spigot on the side of our apartment that has a slow leak. We’ve watched all kinds of wildlife from the woods behind our building show up throughout the day, sometimes waiting in line to take a turn at catching a few drops of water. I recently witnessed a mother squirrel repeatedly scurry up and down a tree. Multiple trips were necessary to bring each of her pups down, one at a time, to place them under the spigot for some relief from the heat. The sight of it broke my heart.
This timeline is barbaric. The cards are stacked against us, every crisis we’re facing is interconnected, and it’s all getting worse by the day. Preparing for emergencies and disasters only feels like an individual effort. In reality, it’s a group project too, and the actions or inactions of others can fuck up all your plans and preparations in the blink of an eye.
At home, we had stashed away several bags of dry rice, beans, and some other staples in our pantry and stocked up on bottled water in anticipation of needing them at some point in the future. We recently had to use up some of the water during a couple of days of unscheduled water shutoffs in our apartment building. Then we learned we had an infestation of pantry moths. They’d found their way into our emergency food supply and laid shitloads of eggs in it, so we had to toss it all out. I’ve seen the moths coming and going from our vents, so it’s likely our entire building is infested, and nothing will be done to remedy it.
By the way, if you want to experience gaslighting firsthand, call your landlord into your mold-ridden apartment, point out the mold, tell them you’ve noticed it worsening lately. Then watch them landlordsplain their way out of it.
“Look, all buildings have mold. Except for this one. There’s no mold here.”
Silly slumlords. What a bunch of fucking clowns.
My spouse and I have been at our wits’ end with our living situation, so we just leased a newer apartment at a different complex that seems to be in better condition. And while we’re stressed about having to move, we’re hoping once we get settled in our new place next month, our home can be a refuge from all the other bullshit in our lives rather than one more stressor added to the mix.
Moving isn’t cheap, and neither is anything else anymore, so I’m very fortunate to have found a remote job recently. It’s been a good match for my skills and interests. I have to be much more intentional now about pacing myself, but thankfully, my role offers the flexibility I need to work around my fluctuations in symptoms and level of energy.
I’ve taken a long break from writing and publishing content to my blog since the reach of my newsletter seems to be stifled, and the demands of everyday life have been overwhelming as of late. I’ve also paused the Netflix movie watch parties as many of the regulars who used to join have closed their Netflix accounts to save money, and folks who’ve joined from outside of the U.S. now encounter content restrictions that can’t be bypassed by a VPN. There are also more individuals and groups hosting movie watch parties online for our community these days, so if it’s something you enjoy, options abound. I’ve heard great things about One Click Events - check them out!
I’m committed to finishing Wayside, a serial novel for the Covid-Conscious community. For those who have been reading along, the latest written episode, 25, is now published here. The final episode will be published next month. I’ll also publish the audio version of episode 4 soon. If you’ve been reading or listening to Wayside and would like for the audio episodes to continue, please drop me a line so I can gauge how much interest there is.
I’m weighing whether or not to keep my blog up after September. Up until this year, memberships and tips from our community have made it possible for me to cover the costs of a website and some of the content creator services I subscribe to. But as inflation spins out of control, I understand that folks are having to cut expenses and hold onto their money. And no – I’m not asking you for money right now. I wouldn't feel right about doing so when we all need to prioritize our own needs and security in the face of so much uncertainty. On the days when you have a few extra bucks to spare, I hope you’ll look toward those in our community who are struggling to meet their basic needs. Mutual aid changes lives and saves lives, and there are far more people who need help now than there were when I started this blog a few years ago.
As time marches in on this never-ending pandemic, I’m finding myself shorter on words. There’s less I want to say, and more I want to do these days.
I want to keep sharing stories and creating art which speaks to the reality we’re living in. I want to keep building community with fellow CC folks and long haulers. I want to keep finding ways to bring comedy and levity to the dystopian hellscape we’re all living in. I’m just trying to figure the best way forward when time, energy, and other resources are limited for all of us.
Our community has kept me going over the past few years, and while we don’t always see eye to eye on everything, I always appreciate your feedback, suggestions, and ideas. I’m listening if you’d like to reach out here.
Mo