Wayside: A Serial Novel - Episode 11
This is a work of fiction. Unless otherwise indicated, all the names, characters, businesses, places, events and incidents in this book are either the product of the author's imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.
Episode 11: Not Fair
October 6, 2026
From the sofa, Cassie watched the first sparks of daylight peeking through the blinds. She hadn’t been able to sleep, so she’d moved to the sofa in the middle of the night. Chris was a light sleeper. Her tossing and turning would have awakened him, had she stayed put.
Reclining onto her back, she closed her eyes, rested her hands on her abdomen, took several deep breaths.
Now’s as good a time as any, she told herself.
She’d tried before to embrace meditation but never stuck with it. It always left her with the feeling that she was doing it wrong.
Cassie had first attempted it at the age of 16 during a hospitalization. One of the nurses played a guided meditation for patients with cystic fibrosis on her in-room TV. It started off with relaxing music and a soothing voice coaching her, asking her to envision herself on a journey. But when the imaginary journey took Cassie through her own body and called on her to visualize her own lungs lit up by a healing light, all she could think about were the damaged organs she’d seen on scans, the worrisome remarks from her doctors about how desperately she needed a transplant and wouldn’t live long with out one. She gave it a chance, listening to the video all the way till the end, but found the meditation exercise had left her feeling more stressed out than when she’d started.
The year after she’d received her new lungs, she tried a meditation class at a local yoga studio. Cassie had been excited by the vibe when she’d walked in. The class was full of young women like her, all of whom seemed to know each other. They gathered in little circles to chat, hug each other, share pictures on their phones, and show off new jewelry and tattoos right up until the meditation began. They all wore the same designer fitness clothing and had their hair pulled up in the same messy bun-style that had just become popular. Cassie felt out of place without any friends to chat up in class; she worried she stuck out like a sore thumb in her old t-shirt and sweatpants which doubled as pajamas, and with her thin hair which lacked the volume to do anything but hang limply from the rubber band wrapped around it. Her mind had been so distracted by the feeling of being an outsider that she wasn’t able to relax and follow along with the meditation.
Since she’d moved to Wayside, she’d heard from many of her neighbors that they regularly meditated and found it beneficial. Some of her fellow Founders’ Council members regularly practiced meditation. Even the kids at the academy incorporated ‘mindfulness moments’ throughout the day, in which they were given quiet time for their minds to take a break from schoolwork and relax, refocus, re-engage. She knew Reese was largely responsible for Waysiders’ adoption of meditation in their everyday lives. The chaplain had led a sangha before moving to Wayside, and had no shortage of stories about the transformational impacts she’d seen in people who embraced the practice.
At yesterday’s checkup with Dr. Bercerra, Cassie’s blood pressure had been slightly elevated. She confessed she’d been a bit more stressed than usual.
“That’s not uncommon in the third trimester,” Dr. Bercerra had told her. “The baby will be here soon. It’s getting real now, Cassie, and you can feel it deep down in your bones. You’re on the brink of a major life change and while it’s an exciting and wonderful time, it’s also stressful on your body and your mind. Meditation can help you keep the stress under control.”
Cassie reluctantly agreed to give it a chance. She’d reached out to Reese after her appointment to confess all her hangups about meditation, as well as ask for help with giving it another try.
“Forget everything you learned – or experienced – about meditation,” Reese told her. “All that didn’t work, just throw it out the window. Don’t worry about classes or videos. Don’t worry about your clothes or your hair. Don’t worry about focusing on or envisioning anything. Just get comfortable in quiet place, close your eyes, and take nice, deep breaths. No goal, no agenda. Just breathe. Start there.”
“That’s it?” Cassie had asked her.
“That’s it,” Reese said. “Just breathe.”
“But I’m so anxious. I always get distracted by my thoughts.”
“And that’s okay,” said Reese. “Thoughts will come and go. Let them. The goal isn’t to control your thoughts, it’s to become more aware of them, which will help you become more at peace with them.”
“It sounds like cheating,” Cassie laughed. “I thought meditation had to be done a certain way. Will it still count as meditation if I’m just sitting quietly and breathing?”
“Of course,” Reese assured her. “There are different types of meditation, different techniques that people use and adapt for themselves, but there’s no wrong way to meditate. The way that works for you – that’s the right way.”
Cassie took her words to heart now, her eyes closed, her chest rising and falling with each breath.
Thoughts came. It was impossible to stop them. She took Reese’s advice and surrendered, letting them flow freely.
She thought about the baby. She worried about her upcoming delivery. She was afraid of the pain it would involve, and how it would affect the rest of her body. She worried there might be complications with the baby. She worried how Chris would handle it if something happened to her.
The thoughts came.
Cassie breathed in, breathed out.
And the thoughts left.
Then Cassie thought about the Teacher’s Day presentation. She’d been at her doctor’s appointment during the first part of it, but caught the shuttle to Bonfire Pavilion in time to meet Chris during his break from work. They listened to the children singing, watched the teachers crying like babies.
Babies.
She thought about her own baby again. Her little boy would grow up here at Wayside. He’d go to school at Wayside Community Academy. He’d be a ninja. She hoped he’d have lots of friends his age. She hoped other Waysiders would start having babies. Babies made people happy. Babies made people think about the future, about the world they wanted to leave behind for their children to grow up in and have babies of their own someday.
Babies were the embodiment of hope.
Cassie felt herself smiling. Her eyes remained closed.
She breathed in, breathed out.
Thoughts came, thoughts left.
She thought about Chris. How lucky she was to have found him. How deeply in love she was with him, and how lost she’d be without him. She’d been his sole reason for staying the path of cautiousness once all of their friends, families, coworkers, and neighbors had dropped masking and returned to normal. Had it not been for her, Chris wouldn’t have had to leave his job. He wouldn’t have had to distance himself from people who didn’t respect his need to keep her safe. He wouldn’t have moved away from his hometown in Georgia.
She thought about his reassurances; he’d told her many times that he had no regrets about anything he’d done to keep her safe. She knew he meant it. Still, she felt sad when she thought about how much he’d given up. It seemed unfair.
Thoughts came, thoughts left.
She thought about her dream.
That dream.
The one she’d told her fellow ladies of the Founders’ Council about over brunch. She’d spoken about it vaguely, withholding a lot of the specifics. She still hadn’t told Chris about it. She knew he’d want details.
The details scared her.
There was suffering. People were sick. It was unexpected. They had come to Wayside to avoid illness, but it found them anyway.
It wasn’t fair.
Waysiders were fighting with each other. There was confusion. Fear.
Mistrust.
There was gunfire. Shattering glass. Panic. Screaming.
Blood.
Lights and sirens.
Death had come to Wayside.
Cassie felt her heart thumping loudly inside of her chest.
She breathed in, breathed out.
In, out.
The baby in her belly moved slightly. Cassie shifted her hands to the area where she’d felt the movement.
It’s okay, little one, she tried to communicate with her touch. It’s okay. I’m here.
Thoughts came.
And left.
Then Cassie saw herself in a hospital bed. She was hooked up to beeping monitors and had an IV in her arm. A small team of doctors and nurses were gathered around her, tending to her with care. They were wearing blue gowns and white N95 masks.
Standing among them was a woman Cassie didn’t recognize. She was an older lady. Her skin was as dark as her hair was white. She had kind eyes and a soft, soothing voice. She was humming. Cassie didn’t recognize the tune, but understood the feeling of the song. It seemed religious, like a hymn or gospel song.
The woman seemed out of place. She wasn’t in hospital scrubs or a gown and she wasn’t masked, but Cassie somehow knew the woman wasn’t a threat to her.
She was holding Cassie’s hand.
The woman hummed and hummed the song. She stroked Cassie’s hair with her free hand.
“Breathe,” the woman finally said. “Just breathe.”
Cassie’s eyes flew open. She sat up abruptly.
“What was that?” She asked, to no one in particular. “Who was that?”
It wasn’t a memory. She’d been in the hospital plenty of times, but nothing like what she’d just seen.
And she was sure she had never seen that woman.
It wasn’t a dream; she was certain she was awake.
Had her imagination been running wild?
In her belly, the baby kicked wildly.
Cassie breathed.
In, out.
In and out.
She laid down on her back again, hands still resting gently on her belly. After a short while, the baby settled. His movements continued, but grew more subtle with each passing second. Cassie noticed the room was filled with daylight. The sun had finished its climb over the horizon for now.
From the bedroom, a song began to play. ‘Angel Eyes’ by the Jeff Healey Band – the song she and Chris had first slow-danced to. She smiled as she heard him roll over, reach for his phone on the nightstand, then silenced his morning alarm. A minute later, he appeared in the doorway to the living room.
“Good morning, angel,” he murmured sleepily. “Couldn’t sleep?”
Cassie shook her head. “Nope.”
He ran his hand over his head, noting again that it was time for a haircut. “More dreams?”
“No. Nothing like that. But…” Cassie smiled. “Dr. Bercerra recommended that I try meditation, for dealing with some of the stress of this last trimester. So I was actually just giving it a try.”
Chris joined her on the sofa, lifting her feet to sit on the spot where they’d been resting. He replaced them on his lap. “And? How did it go?”
“It was interesting,” she observed. “Reese gave me some advice on how to meditate, so I tried it out.”
“Did it work?”
“I think so. More importantly, the idea of meditation makes more sense to me now. It’s supposed to help you become more aware of your thoughts, and it definitely did that for me. My mind took me to some interesting places. Some of them, I need to revisit and try to make sense of.”
“As cryptic as that sounds, it seems like it’s a good thing,” Chris said with a smile. “I’m glad it was a positive experience.”
“Oh! Hey—you gotta feel this.” Cassie sat up and scooted closer to Chris. She reached for his hand and placed it over her belly. “He must have heard your voice. He’s rolling around like a rotisserie chicken in there.”
Chris laughed. “Well good morning, FAB.”
“FAB,” Cassie groaned and rolled her eyes playfully. “We’ve got to come up with a better name for our child than Fine Ass Baby.”
“I know, I know,” Chris sighed. “I’ve been trying to come up with some ideas. Should we name him after your father?”
“Oh hell no,” Cassie made a gagging noise. “As you know, I loved my dad to pieces. But with a name like Purvis, guess what people shortened it to?”
“Oh,” Chris winced. “I see what you mean.”
“What about names from your family?”
Chris shook his head. “You know I love my dad, but I haven’t always felt that way about him. I’ve had to forgive and overlook a lot of his shortcomings. I’d rather our son not have his name.”
“What about your brother? I love his name. Chase would be a beautiful name for a little boy.”
Chris looked down. “My feelings about my brother are complicated too. We were close as kids, and even as adults up until—”
“The pandemic began.”
“Yeah. It changed everything. We may as well have packed our bags and moved to different planets, Cass. He’s not the same person he used to be. I suppose I’m not either, but I’d like to think that as I’ve grown older, I’ve grown up, and I’ve become a better man in the process. I can’t say the same for Chase.”
“I’m sorry,” Cassie said softly.
“I feel horrible saying that about him, but it’s true.”
“So why do you feel horrible?”
“He’s been infected so many times, I’ve lost count. His personality, his temperament, his values and morals… it’s all changed so much I barely recognize him now. I sometimes wonder if there’s anything left of my brother, or if his body is just a host for a virus that has completely hijacked his mind. I don’t know how responsible he truly is for his behavior.” He faced Cassie again. “I don’t want to name our son after him. I don’t know that I’d ever want our son to meet him.”
“That’s sad. I’m sorry.”
“So am I.” Chris faced her again. “Chase texted me a couple of days ago, by the way. I haven’t responded yet.”
“What did he say?”
“He saw the ‘Chat with Chatleigh’ episode with Ben’s interview. He told me Wayside sounds like a great place. He said he’s happy for us, that we live here now and we don’t have to worry so much about your safety anymore.”
Cassie cocked her head and furrowed her brow. “That doesn’t sound so horrible. Maybe he’s changing?”
“I don’t think so,” Chris shook his head. “He went on to say that our mom isn’t going to be around much longer and I should visit her while I still have a chance.”
“Oh no.” She placed a hand on his shoulder. “How do you feel about it? Do you think you should go?”
“I don’t know what to think, honestly.” Chris rested his head in his hands and sighed loudly. “I’m upset by the news that my mother isn’t doing well, but I’m also really angry about it. You know how hard I tried to talk them into moving to Wayside with us. They both laughed in my face and told me they’d never give up their ‘freedom.’ I still don’t even know what they were talking about.”
“The freedom to keep getting infected and spreading a deadly virus?” Cassie chimed in.
“That must be it. They’ve always acted like Wayside was just some big joke. Yet they’ve had no problem with the fact that my job at Wayside allows me to pay their bills and keep them fed now that my mom is too sick to work. Chase has never been able to hold down a job, and our dad won’t be eligible for parole for at least another seven years. He’s constantly sick too, and although he has zero control over how safe he can be while he’s incarcerated, he’s responsible for ending up there. I don’t know when he’ll get out, or if he’ll be well enough to live independently when he does, but I imagine all three of them will probably depend on us for the rest of their lives.”
“It’s not a big deal,” Cassie shrugged. “We have everything we need here and we don’t live paycheck to paycheck like we did on the outside. We can afford to help them.”
“I know. But we shouldn’t have to.”
“We don’t have to. We choose to. Because even though they can be assholes, they’re still your family. They’re still our family,” Cassie argued. “I know it’s not fair, Chris. But maybe you should try to see your mom while you still have a chance.”
He frowned. “I don’t want to leave you right now. You’re so close to your due date, you shouldn’t be alone.”
“I’m not alone,” Cassie smiled. “That was the whole point of us coming to Wayside, so we could be safe and be part of a community. I’ll be fine if you need to take some time away and go see them.”
“Thank you,” said Chris. “It’s just that you and the baby are my top priorities. Nothing is more important to me than the two of you. My parents and my brother all made choices they’re having to live with, and will have to die with. It’s sad, Cass. I wish more than anything that it wouldn’t have to be a big deal for me to spend time with them in person. It’s just that I’m not sure what good it would do any of us for me to show up right now.”
“What are you afraid of?” Cassie asked with concern.
“Nothing specific,” he said. “I love them and I miss them. I really do. But I don’t trust them anymore, and that scares me.”
“I understand.” Cassie leaned forward, wrapping her arms around her husband’s shoulders. He returned her embrace.
“You really are my angel,” he whispered in her ear. “If it hadn’t been for you, who knows where I’d be? I might have turned out like my dad. Or Chase. Sometimes I wake up and I can’t believe I’m living this life, as one of the founders of Wayside, with an amazing, beautiful wife, and a baby on the way.”
“I don’t know where I would be without you,” she told him. “No one else I know would have gone to the lengths you have to keep me safe. We’re headed into the seventh year of a global pandemic the rest of the world has chosen to ignore. I doubt I would have lived this long, had you not sparked the idea for turning YOLO Park into Wayside, and teamed up with our fellow founders to make it happen. I guess we saved each other.”
Chris blinked, sending a tear down his cheek. “Keep saving me,” he told her. “I don’t always know what I’m doing and I don’t have all the answers. I am very torn over this invitation from my brother. I can’t just ignore it, so I need to get back to him soon and give him an answer. Maybe you’re right. Maybe I should go.”
“Or… maybe you should trust your gut,” said Cassie. “I don’t have all the answers either. But I’ll support you in whatever decision you make.”
“Thank you.” Chris sniffled loudly, then wiped his eyes. “Where were we? Oh yes… baby names. I’d say we’ve effectively ruled out a family name. What if we do something trendy and come up with a name that combines the both of ours?”
“Hmm. You mean like… Crass?”
“Or… Cassandropher?”
“Sure. He won’t get beat up on the playground at all with a name like that.”
They stared at each other for a long moment.
“I take back what I said earlier,” said Cassie. “FAB is a good enough name for now.”
“FAB is fabulous. I couldn’t agree more.”
Suddenly, both of their phones chimed in unison with incoming message alerts.
And again and again and again, rapid-fire style.
Chris locked eyes with Cassie. “I’m guessing that’s not your ‘Fine Ass Ladies’ text group, since both of our phones are blowing up.”
She checked her watch. “It’s still early. The sun literally just came up. It must be something serious.”
Chris stood up first, helping Cassie to her feet, then retrieved his phone from the nightstand in the bedroom. Cassie grabbed hers off of the charger on the kitchen counter and they met back in the living room.
“Holy shit,” said Chris as he read through the messages from the morning.
Cassie gasped. “Oh my God.”
They sank back down onto the sofa together. Chris opened the first of a series of photos that Joel had added to the Founders’ Council group text, enlarging it on his screen for the both of them to see. Cassie cupped her hand over her mouth.
The Wayside Community Academy mural had been vandalized. The entire side of the building was covered in streaks of red spray paint that had dripped to the ground before it could dry, much like the sight of blood dripping from the body of a slaughtered animal.
The work of art that had once been as a statement of solidarity and a message of hope was now ruined.
“Who would do this?” Cassie asked as she threw her phone down on the sofa. Instinctively, she rested her hands over her belly. “And why?”
“I don’t know,” Chris murmured, his eyes still fixed on the messages spilling into the group’s text. “Emergency Founders’ Council Zoom call this morning at ten o’clock. Joel says they’re pulling security footage from the cameras around the academy right now. And Jessica says they’re raising a drape over the side of the building so the kids won’t be upset by the sight of it when they arrive at school today.”
“I can’t believe it,” Cassie said numbly. “I’ve felt so safe here, for so long. Safe enough to bring a baby into the world. And now this?”
“We are safe,” Chris insisted. “Try not to let this upset you. We’ll find out who did it soon enough, and they’ll be held accountable.”
“Right,” Cassie said defeatedly. “I just can’t imagine why someone would do this.”
“To make a statement, it seems. To spread fear, to cause unrest. Someone wanted to hurt us here at Wayside, and this was an effective way to do it.”
“We weren’t supposed to have to worry about any of that here,” said Cassie.
“I know. That was our hope, that we’d be immune to the cruelty of the outside world.” Chris wrapped his arm around her back, pulling her close to him. “And we’ve all tried very hard to build a community where this kind of thing wouldn’t happen. But there are so many things beyond our control. There’s a gate around Wayside, but we’re all still human beings in here. None of us are perfect. We can’t expect that everything will go according to plan. Something bad happened here, and it sucks. But what matters now is how we respond to it.”
“You’re right,” she nodded. “I was just thinking about the kids at the academy. This is going to break their hearts. It’s not fair.” She slowly rubbed her hands over her belly.
“It will, yes. But those kids are resilient. We saw that yesterday at the Teachers’ Day event, didn’t we? They can overcome this just like all the other hardships they’ve overcome in their young lives. It’s just paint, Cass. The academy building suffered no other damage. No one is hurt. Everyone is safe. Nothing has happened that can’t be undone.”
“I know,” Cassie nodded. “But I still have feelings about it, and I can't just turn them off like a light switch.”
“I’m sorry,” Chris stroked her hair. “I didn’t mean to be insensitive. It must be weighing heavy on your heart to see this happen while you’re so close to giving birth to little FAB. No expectant mother should have to deal with this kind of stress.”
“It’s okay.” Cassie rested her head on his shoulder. “You’re right, you know. Nothing has happened that can’t be undone. And we are safe. Whenever I freak out, you always help me put things in perspective.”
Chris kissed her on the forehead. “We do that for each other.”
She tilted her head, kissing him back on the cheek. “You’re right.”
“I need to log in at work in a little while and move some things around on my schedule so I can join the emergency meeting at ten.” He glanced at his watch. “Can I do anything for you, my brave, beautiful angel?”
“Yeah,” she whispered in his ear. “Just keep saving me too.”
Song by @salamasinamusic
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